


Blue Jeans (or How Haruka Couldn't Find Gold by the Rainbow)

by abyssobrotulaCronos



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Haruka-Centric, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:24:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abyssobrotulaCronos/pseuds/abyssobrotulaCronos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After living in Australia for five years, Haruka, Rin and Nitori return to Iwatobi to meet their friends. Haruka knows he shouldn't be expecting much from the encounter, after all, Kisumi will be there with Makoto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Jeans (or How Haruka Couldn't Find Gold by the Rainbow)

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, guys. I wrote this a bit before the last episode and I'd like to say I'm so happy with the end. Like, for real. Not only because Haruka and Makoto continued together, but because everyone seemed so happy and satisfied (Sousuke, though!).  
> Okay, about the story, please have in mind it was purely written to fulfill my unrequited love needs. It is so rare to find deep angst of these two!

Not a happy love story, but still a love story.

 

_“I told you I wanted more,_

_But that was not what I had in mind._

_I want it just like before.”_

 

 

Coming back after five longs years isn’t easy. As soon as it happens, Haruka finds himself standing on the dirty floor of Iwatobi train platform while looking at the bright sky and waiting for god knows what, maybe a signal that he should move, should summon the willpower to face his fate like it is; raw and cruel.

He never was one to dwell in such grim thoughts, to keep auto-depreciating himself over and over like he had done during the whole trip from Australia, and he wonders what might be wrong, what is he even thinking? Sulking over something that couldn’t be avoided? (At least that’s what he repeats in his head...)

There’s this voice that whispers at night yes, you could have completely kept it from happening, you know you had him in your hands and settled for your selfish needs... You could have told him to go with you, you know he would without even blinking, what were you thinking, Nanase Haruka, when you left the love of your life behind in order to seek for success?

Haruka knows this is bullshit. He knows there was nothing selfish about it, he was pursuing his dream and then Makoto would never... He would never have agreed to go along; he wouldn’t leave his family, his safe place. Tokyo is one thing, but Australia? Oh, other completely different.

Even for Nanase himself. Sounds surreal, vast, foreign, threatening. Full of opportunities and spark, but where was home when he looked for it? The answer lives as an old picture on his cellphone, a picture that wields the image of him, Rei, Nagisa, Gou and... Makoto. Everyone is bundled up together, smiling (himself being the exception, but his shining eyes give away much more than a smile), they had won a tournament.

His heart warms at the thought.

– Oi! Haru! I called Rei and Nagisa, they were about to leave, so should be here in five or so. Wanna sit? – Rin’s voice echoes through his skull and Haruka finally looks down.

Oh yeah, that’s what he was waiting for. Rei and Nagisa set everything up and also offered them a ride as soon as they got in Iwatobi.

Even though none of them was still living in Iwatobi, it felt like the best thing to gather up again in the place where they spent most of their lives and lived the best memories as a team, so the reunion was set up. Rei and Nagisa were coming from the USA, Haruka, Rin and Nitori from Australia (where Haru’s and Rin’s Olympic careers were going more than great. Nitori kept swimming as a hobby, but his real deal now was biology) and Gou, Seijuurou and Makoto from Tokyo. The thing is, Haru would be completely okay if it was going to be just like that, like the old times (with a brief hint of sadness that was going to happen anyway when he saw Makoto again).

Then he remembers the call he had with him as soon as the plans of gathering up were formed.

*

_– So, is it just going to be you and Rin? – Makoto mutters, finishing a long conversation about university and professional swimming. After a few months without talking properly, getting to update their lives was relieving, at least for Haruka, who missed his best friend like nothing else in this world. Makoto felt the same way, even though there were certain feelings that didn’t apply to him._

_– Yeah. You’ll come with Gou-kun and Seijuurou-kun, right?_

_Living in the same city allowed the three to meet often and they became good friends. If times were any different, the blue-eyed man would think Tachibana was being a bit of a third wheel, but he knew better; Makoto had come to lots of realizations while in Tokyo and that included a few about him as well. Of course Haruka was the first one he talked to during the times he couldn’t stand to keep secrets to himself anymore. He still remembered how the call sounded in the dark night, his friend’s voice low and careful, telling him everything he has been terrified to deal with alone._

_It was a surprise when Makoto came out. Not the kind of surprise that makes one go impressed and excited, no, it involved shock and anger on Haruka’s part. But the brunet never got to know such a thing, he got only calm and respectful words, the kind of thing he needed to hear from his best friend. Who had to control Nanase’s anger was Rin, staying up until late with him by the pool, watching him swim lap after lap in a restless haze of nervous emotions. But Rin understood, he knew exactly what was going on and he just listened to the wet sounds while the other boy let it go. Or at least tried._

_During these moments, the little voice came back. You’re so dumb, so dumb, look at you, desperate and lonely, you could have had it..._

_And then, two years later, Makoto dropped the bomb._

_Of course he didn’t even know it was a bomb. He just calmly called Haruka, who by the time wasn’t talking to him as much as before because of heavy training, and told him the good news! The great news! The news that made Nanase scowl in pain and spend another night in clear. This time he didn’t tell Rin, but Rin was there anyway. As soon as he heard about Makoto and Kisumi being together, he ran to Haruka’s and made him company until said boy fell asleep. Only then he had the sensation of duty completely taken care of._

_– Mmmmm... Right_  – _the voice drawls._

_That’s when something sets off in Haruka’s mind._

_– Makoto._

_– Yeah, Haru?_

_– Tell me the truth? – It’s not an assertive sentence as much as is a question; he wants to know so badly._

_Then Makoto laughs and Haruka grips the phone tighter. – You know me so well, Haru! Heh... Well, it was supposed to be a surprise for the others, but I think... I think Kisumi is coming with me. You know, mom and dad keep me bugging about him visiting again, Ren and Ran also like a lot. Even now they’re old and annoyed at everything._

_Makoto laughs._

_Haruka coughs into the line and hums. If it’s in approval or disapproval, nobody never gets to know._

*

Nanase puffs the air out of his mouth, looking bored. Rin barely minds, he’s used to the man’s personality, maybe as much as Makoto, now that they get to live in the same place and see each other almost on a daily basis. He skittles through the pages of a magazine and Nitori approaches with bottles of water.

– This one is yours, Haru-kun – he hands Haruka one of them, flopping down beside Rin with tired and kind eyes. They change a quick peck on the lips that simply makes Nitori beam like a diamond in the sun, the red-haired pretending he didn’t notice and avoiding a smile that threatens to give his silliness away.

They hold hands over their knees and the raven man can only speculate the kind of thing they must be feeling like this, together without fear or complicate stories. Ok, maybe a bit of complication by Rin’s side, but everything was sorted out pretty fast and it didn’t take long until they wanted to be near each other all the time.

It had been so easy that was laughable. Rin wanted to go pro in Australia, Nitori, after finally having solved his issues with his insecure swimming, discovered a new passion in genetics and such. Then one day the older boy casually said, Nitori-kun, you should come with me. In fact, you must come with me. There are no options, you come or you come, pack up, we have two hours.

Of course Nitori wouldn’t say no. Australian universities were pretty great regarding to the field and he was a smart kid, got in without any difficulties. The things he would do to stay with his boyfriend.

Haruka swallows. Half past three, in less than one hour he’ll be seeing Makoto with Kisumi in tow and he isn’t sure he’s going to bear it for too long. He’s sure he’ll listen to hidden provocations, little notes of sarcasm and irony the blonde guy will drop like only he (and Nagisa, to be honest) know how to do. And it’s gonna hurt like a bitch, because Shigino will probably be right about all the assumptions he’ll make. What if he talks to Makoto about this? What if he tells Makoto he thinks his best friend (are they even still best friends? It’s impossible to tell) has a thing for him and wants him to stop talking with Haruka?

The thought alone makes him shiver.

He hopes he’s wrong.

He hopes–

– Haru-chan! Rin-chan! Nitori-chan! – a sweet voice calls them from the entrance and not only theirs, but several heads turn to look who’s the little scandal that’s coming in.

Obviously, who else would it be?

Rin suffers the attack first. He’s in the front, so when Nagisa flies over and tackles him almost to the point of tumbling down, it takes all his muscles plus some technique from the training to stand on his feet and catch the blond riot. In the end, he manages to do it. Not gracefully, but life is hard.

Nitori receives a much less aggressive hug, though still strong enough to make him breathless, and Haruka gets the tightest of them all. This time, he hugs back because he may not admit, but he missed Nagisa as hell. His sweet tooth, his whining, his weird ideas that were either embarrassing or dangerous. When the hug parts, the smaller boy smiles at him like he’s Santa Claus.

– Haru-chan! You haven’t changed a single thing!

He could say the same, except now the cuteness of his clothes has toned down a bit (but is still there). Maybe there’s something different about the spark in his eyes, he’s dreamier, more spontaneous; if that’s even possible in his case. Maybe America was being good to him, maybe living with Rei was being good to him, maybe he had achieved everything he’d ever longed for while living in this little city of Japan.

Haruka has to stop projecting his past insecurities on the others, even if it’s just through observation. God.

– Good afternoon, Haru-kun! – Rei says when Nagisa steps back – I hope you have made a good trip!

– I did. Thanks – is all that he answers.

If someone who didn’t know Haruka was to judge the scene, they would say he was simply an emotionless little boy who didn’t care for seeing his friends after all this time, maybe ungrateful. But it was nothing like this and everyone involved knew very well that Haruka was simply like that: even though not one for words, the little things were the main element of his care. And looking into Nagisa’s and Rei’s eyes in Iwatobi station during this lovely afternoon... Haruka surely knows what is it like to come back home.

*

Makoto arrives twenty minutes late. To Haruka, twenty minutes of pure uneasiness and constant checking of the front door without drawing anyone’s attention. Except Rin’s, who shrugs to himself and pulls Nitori tighter in his arms with the excuse to warm him – not that they needed any excuses to be together like this all the time.

They are all huddled up due to the cold, sharing warmth by the fire and drinking hot chocolate prepared by Nagisa. Rei’s parents are travelling the world, a gift from themselves to themselves, now that their sons had left home and they had free time, so they kindly allowed Rei to use it for the reunion. In Nagisa’s opinion it was just perfect because had big rooms, a good heating system and was always very neat.

The sudden knocks on the wood are soft and firm, maybe even a bit calculated. The hard noise echoes around the living room and the blond, shortest boy promptly stands up to open the door, welcoming Makoto with the same enthusiasm he wielded in the station. Even sleepy and cold, he manages to be cheerful and friendly.

Haruka tries not to look when Kisumi also gets a hug and steps in, smiling that wicked smile of his and setting his coat on the hooks and his shoes by the entrance.

Makoto is even broader, if that’s any possible. Haruka stops to think that he should be, too, but then goes back to admiring the handsome adult his best friend has become. His hair is still thick and disheveled, but now holds a certain charm of roughness, just like his arms that are covered by long sleeves of the shirt. The classical smile is still there when he talks to everyone, maybe purposely leaving Haruka for last, but when they look in each other’s eyes, it is for real.

Haruka hugs him with all the intensity he has. It means his shirt rode up and his stomach is a bit exposed, but he doesn’t care, he isn’t cold anymore when Makoto’s firm arms embrace him around the waist, he isn’t afraid anymore when Makoto’s smell is invading his senses so deliciously and strong as ever. Has he changed the colony? Haruka thinks so.

Everyone tries not to stare, but it’s a scene too beautiful to go unnoticed. Maybe eighty per cent of the room thinks it’s a heartfelt reencounter between two childhood friends, maybe they’re all taking pity on Haruka and making him feel bigger than anyone else at the moment, all he knows is that is enough to him. Goodbye everyone, party is over, Makoto please stay so I can bathe in your presence.

It is like that the hug parts. Haruka isn’t embarrassed; Makoto is blushing to the core. Kisumi steps in between and hugs Haru without any real meaning.

– Are we late? – he asks, smiling.

– Not at all, come on, the horror stories were about to begin!

– Wah! What? – Makoto protests.

– Sit down, you whiny baby!

*

The days go on uneventful. Haruka honestly doesn’t know what else he is expecting, maybe Makoto to talk to him in private? What would he say, anyway? This is all part of your imagination, says another voice in his head, but he’s pretty sure he’s not going insane, it is actually what he tells himself and likes to think of it as any other thing than a reality where he was left behind. Replaced by the last person he’d want. Not that there is someone he’d like to be in his place. Ever.

Well, what’s done is done.

And his heart doesn’t jump around when Makoto calls him to confirm the place where them and the team ( _and Kisumi_ ) will be meeting at night.

*

The restaurant is full, being a Saturday. They get a table near the docks so as they can see the water gushing down the woods and the lights over the waves. A beautiful, romantic place to take your beloved one, so there’s Rei and Nagisa, Rin and Nitori, Gou and Seijuurou and Makoto and Kisumi. And Haruka, completely out of place. He doesn’t mind so much, of course, because they’re not the kind of couples that kiss each other all the times and things like these. Or maybe they are, but not in public.

Haruka isn’t thinking about Makoto peppering kisses all over Kisumi in the privacy of their home... The night is going to be a long one.

Nagisa begins ordering a few drinks and everyone happily agrees on it, Haruka going for a lighter one with rum and Nagisa and Gou choosing matching, pretty cocktails that look like exotic birds from some tropical place. At least he can enjoy being pleasantly tipsy to go on without worrying about anything more than laughing at Seijuurou’s fantastic stories. Sure, Makoto’s got an arm behind Kisumi’s chair and they sip on each other’s drinks from time to time, change intimate looks when talking, but that won’t ruin the night.

– Mako-chan! How about what you had to tell us! – Nagisa chirps, already on his second drink. The thing about Nagisa and alcohol wasn’t that he got drunk easily, but instead gained more and more confidence if it was even possible, so his filter was basically turned off. And that was a dangerous thing sometimes.

Makoto chuckles, finishing his mojito.

– You’re so delicate, Nagisa-kun! – Nitori mocks.

– It’s okay, it’s okay, he’s right after all – the brunet says, setting his glass down and smiling the kind of smile that always made everyone calm, no matter what was going on.

Haruka looks up at him to hear better, if Makoto wants to tell them all together it must be important.

– So... Kisu-chan and I, well – he’s already blushing furiously, but that’s not what Nanase pays attention to. The termination is foreign as hell, as if it didn’t belong there at all – we’re getting married! And, Haruka?

The raven-haired man keeps staring at him with serious eyes. Years ago, were different the situation, he’s find almost erotic the way his full name unraveled in the other’s tongue, now he just finds sad, too formal, too alien. He’s isn’t sure he’s ready to face the fact he hates it, plus he’d never pinpoint something like this.

– I want you to be my best man, of course.

Haruka’s breath hitches. This isn’t real, the thought comes back. This isn’t happening, he thinks to himself, it is a nightmare and I’m going to wake up in Australia. I’m gonna fix this, I will have another chance, I will make things right. Please, please let me make things right this time.

– The ceremony will be here in Iwatobi – Kisumi continues – the place where we met for the first time, you know?

While he and Makoto smile into each other’s cheeks, Nagisa is the first to react. His eyes are wide and amazed at first, but then the huge grin begins to spread all over his face and he squeals so loud a few heads turn their way, just like at the station.

– I can’t believe! – he simply says, fighting the water in his eyes and failing whilst Rei doesn’t even fight, too busy to pay attention to Haruka’s body language; stiff.

The others catch on at the same time, exploding in compliments and laughter. Makoto seems very embarrassed, but this is something he is learning to overcome, and accepts the nice words and Kisumi’s peck on his lips while they move their chairs even closer.

Iwatobi doesn’t belong to Kisumi, is the first thing that Nanase thinks. It isn’t his place to claim with affection. The memories built here are part of Haruka’s and Makoto’s childhood and teenage years, a very rotten concept that smells like chlorine, sun baths in the backyard of the Tachibana’s and the sheets that once held Makoto’s good smell. Haruka wonders, while watching the couple briefly kiss again, if he’ll be told this is a joke. Oh, Haru-chan! Makoto will say. Syke, I love you and have been waiting for you all this time.

But he isn’t dumb; he doesn’t feed from stupid fantasies that will get him nowhere but deeper in his self-pity. He is just helpless and small, smaller than he has ever felt, keeping in his throat the urge to tell Makoto to fuck himself and run away (like he did five years ago).

– Of course I will be there – he answers automatically and is, when he finishes his second drink still mainly sober, praying that time can cure his wounds.


End file.
